Living with a privilege, more than one

Last week, over dinner, a dear friend and we were discussing the daily travails that ails our hearts and the regular encounters of our aging selves. He remarked that I am leading a quality life. It was to be another affirmation of my thoughts, coming from someone else.   

The continuum of my miracles is even greater than I would be able to put down here. It clearly started once I was conceived in my mother. She was well taken care of, all the basic endowments – clothes, food, shelter, comforts, affection and more, made its way to her. Even before I was born, my grandparents started doting on me, depriving my elder brother his due share of love. He still stands today, by my side - the only one in the family privy to my true self – a source of immense relief.

Early as a child, my family decided to move out of Delhi and establish base in a small town in Haryana. We had a government quarter in cantonment area to ourselves, supplies in place, a clean, quiet environment to learn and grow in. The compound was huge, with trees laden with leaves and fruits.

In the school, I was a, or among the toppers. It allowed me excessive advantages to dominate other kids, keep my mouth flowing and question the ways of administering education. I wish I was more emphatic towards and cognizant of my fellow beings.

I wonder why my mother always asked me to choose a profession of my choice, she never expressed a desire for positions, designations, roles. All she ever wanted and she still does, is for me to be happy. I choose an overpriced course in a city away from home, I chose to leave a decently paying job to teach in a government school against my family’s wishes, I choose to spend time away from them with friends or travelling, I still choose to spend an amount on a meal in a fancy restaurant which my parents started their jobs with. Never once, they have flinched to make me comfortable, happy and feel loved. I am sure there exists no way to repay their affection and care.

I will quickly recount a portion of what I continue to be indebted for. Being born a boy – the life is so much easier being a guy in the country or otherwise – I will make a separate blog entry to thank my father for his Y chromosome. Getting pampered in the company of affectionate, human, guiding friends and colleagues throughout. To be able to always afford decent healthcare, flights to travel home or attend numerous weddings, attend film and music festivals, indulge in food and comfort. To have the space, time and resources to persue interests, observe the sun going down, step out at any time of the day or night.  

Also, being honoured with the opportunity to experience and appreciate human warmth and care. Being endowed with the understanding to share and receive love. Living with the third person perspective to observe and correct actions. Being a witness to a soul as it smiles, laughs and cries. To be able to count the number of shoulders on which I can cry on. I believe it is indeed a luxury, just to be able to count my blessings.

I spoke to another friend about three months ago. We had connected after five years and he asked me if my time is better than it was before. I will reproduce what I said – life pehle bhi achi hi thi, samjh bas ab aaya hai - life was the same earlier, a blessed one, however only now I have understood what I have.