Friday, May 31, 2019

An Encounter with Buddhism: Looking into the Mirror

Teach For India Fellowship has been nothing less than a blessing or a miracle. The people I have met and worked with, which includes children, in the last two years have molded my personality in a way I had not intended it to do. I had only envisioned the fellowship to be a launch pad for a career in the development sector. However, it holds much greater value.

Earlier last month, I was asked to submit an essay (a portion of this post) as a part of a job application. It gave me an opportunity to reflect back on the experience, which I will reproduce here. Around till the end of first year of fellowship, I have been very curious and also, frustrated without answers, about the meaning and the possibilities of life. A conservation with a friend alluded to the idea and she asked me to undertake an experiment. I was to attend a ten day Introduction to Buddhism Course at Tushita Meditation Centre, located among Himalayas at Mcleod Ganj.

The idea is to observe abstinence of speech, killing, stealing, lying, sexual activity and intoxicants for ten days while being at the centre. One has to adjust to keep silence, has to be gentle in one’s behaviour and sensitive to fellow course participants and staff, keep an open mind and adjust to the schedule. By shutting out the distractions of everyday life, exposing oneself to spiritual (Buddhist) lessons and teachings and sitting through time-determined meditation sessions, I found a set of answers that I was looking for.

It was subtle, profound few days on the hill. I got up early in the morning, before others, to ensure that I could get the washrooms unoccupied. I saw the light of the dawn peeking from behind the tall trees and in the glitter, I did what I like to do the most in the morning, read. The discussions, listening to the teacher and the understanding I have developed of the people by observing their eyes and smile (or the absence of it), took time and have become one with who I am.



I now observe existence to be a function of love, kindness, gratitude and grit. I realised what is important for me – my relationships, peace of mind and learning. I understand and feel affection with an open happy heart. Sometimes, I am quite overjoyed or overwhelmed as I notice the love people have for me and my heart stops. I have learned the importance of taking care of myself, it’s of much significance to have both mind and body healthy. I learned where to draw the line - at work, in my relationships, in my adventures. I have let go of unhealthy people, few addictions and habits. I have stopped feeling ashamed of my body's shape and size. I speak openly, I prefer to look in the eye of the person and say the truth. I don’t get easily outraged at people or during difficult situations. I try to understand my anger and control it. I observe how people respond, I analyse how and why of their actions, I try not to judge. With judgment minimised, forgiveness has seaped in me. I have learned to be a happier, calmer and kinder person. I love better.